LGBT+ History Month: Bisi Alimi on coming out and disrupting the system

Nigerian gay rights activist Bisi Alimi first gained recognition in 2004 as the first person to come out as gay on Nigerian national TV. Homosexuality is generally viewed as unacceptable in that country, and public display of same sex relationships can lead to a hefty prison sentence. Since then, he has been an advocate of LGBT+ rights in both his home country and, since fleeing to seek asylum, in the UK too and recently spoke to Kingston students for LGBT+ History Month.

Although his sexuality was not something he hid, it was a part of his life only shared between his close network of friends. However, he was outed by his university’s magazine, leading to him addressing his sexuality publicly in the hopes of gaining social acceptance. Despite praise from some quarters, there was a backlash against him and his family disowned him.

“What do you do at that moment? I didn’t even know how I was able to survive the withdrawal that came after it. I know it’s easy for me to sit here and say everything is going to be okay but it’s not always like that,” he said as he reflected on his coming out experience.

His words are a stark reminder of the ongoing struggles within the community and the significance of why LGBT+ history should be celebrated. It was only 1967 when homosexuality was legalised in the UK, with many older queer people still appealing for their criminal charges to be dismissed today. It took another almost 40 years for gay people to be allowed civil partnerships in order to legally celebrate their love.

“If you were a gay man or a lesbian you could not have a fulfillment or a dream for a long-lasting relationship with your partner in public. You’d have to do it in secret. If your partner dies you don’t even have access to any of the properties that the both of you had. That was the culture we were living in until 2004. Sometimes we tend to forget that 2004 was not even twenty years ago. It feels like just yesterday,” said Alimi.

Whilst queer people in the UK have more liberty and rights than those in Nigeria, there is no doubt that progress remains slow in this country. Currently there is a push for reformation of the Gender Recognition Act in response to increasing transphobia as well as the ban of conversion therapy.

“As someone who went through conversion therapy, it’s so mind blowing that we are still demanding an end to this very harmful, destructive practice that we’re made to go through for being queer. We have people telling us that maybe there might be deliverance for us, there might be therapy that might change us from who we are. I can’t imagine the last time straight people had to go through that,” said Alimi.

But besides signing petitions what can we do to reach total freedom for the LGBT+ community? How can those outside of it add their support?

Alimi responded: “I always say this: if you consider yourself a straight ally, then you need to up your game because that’s so 2000. Whether it comes in the area of the rights of women, in the area of disability rights, in the area of race or whether it comes in the area of sexual orientation and gender; we have to disrupt the system.

“I want to breed a generation of angelic troublemakers who are disrupting the system, who are challenging and asking questions and who are speaking up on issues not because it affects them but because they know that it’s the right thing to do.”

And for those who may find themselves in situations like his, Alimi stressed the importance of validating your own feelings and building support networks but most importantly he said: “The main thing, and it’s something I did, which I did very well, is to own that story. What happens most times with this kind of thing is that we’re put in a place where we feel we’re to be rejected or to be accepted. It’s a feeling that comes that you don’t even think of as irrational. So, what I always tell people is take a moment to own your story. It is your story. Own it, control the narrative and reclaim your power.”