How to use affirmation phrases to recognise and appreciate you

Meditation, manifestation, affirmation: the weird and long words that seem to be all over TikTok and Insta at the moment. We’ve seen the summoning circle memes, the wave of the minimalist aesthetic, and the videos of people talking to themselves in the mirror.

We’re all stuck in this constant lockdown cycle. With adults working from home, students taking classes on their laptops – oh and not to mention we’re going through a pandemic, I think it’s safe to say we’ve all been feeling a little (or a lot) stressed out. It’s no surprise that spiritual techniques have trended like crazy on social media platforms for the past year but what do they all actually mean? How do they work? How can we use them in our everyday lives?

It all begins with knowing something that we have within us but might not know much about; autopilot. This is a part of our brain that all humans have and it plays a very vital function in our day-to-day lives. In her book ‘Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy: Distinctive Features’, Dr. Rebecca Crane defines autopilot as a state of mind in which one acts without conscious intention or awareness of present-moment sensory perception.“

In simpler words, our auto-pilot allows us to carry out multiple tasks at once. For example, perhaps you’re completing a homework assignment but you also have another piece due tomorrow, your auto-pilot would tell you that you need to do that one too. When our auto-pilots become unmanaged, however, it floods our system with worries and unresolved problems. In her blog, ‘mindfulnessmuse’, Laura Schneck says: “the effects of automatic pilot become harmful when we go on autopilot to process our emotional experience.”

“When we’re doing something routine like showering, boiling the kettle, and having a cup of coffee, our autopilot detects this and knows how much attention you need to give that task, and the rest of your attention pools out into your thoughts. You start thinking of things like: what do I have in my past that was unresolved? What was that conversation I had yesterday that was uncomfortable? Why is this situation happening? These are all undigested things in our system which it fishes out when we’re doing everyday activities. When we practice mindfulness, we are actively tuning down the autopilot so it functions only to a level that it needs to and doesn’t take over our whole system because otherwise, it gets very exhausting,” explains mindfulness and somatic practitioner, Raneesha Manoharan.

Mindfulness is all about bringing our focus into the present moment so we don’t get caught up in the problem-solving side of our brain. You’re not in your head, you’re not in the past, you’re not in the future - you’re just there and you’re able to see things so clearly. It’s a practice you can do anytime, anywhere.

“Imagine that [our heads] are our mental home. It gets pretty stuffy in there, quite messy and cluttered even. Mindfulness is like taking a step out and realising there is an entire space outside of this. There are sights and sounds, there is a perspective, and there is just a bigger world out there. From there, you also get to look back and see what's going on inside. Is it messy? Is it too stuffy? Is there enough light in there? It's only when we can see it from here that we can start doing the decluttering inside ourselves,” explains Raneesha.

So why as young carers is mindfulness such a necessary tool to have? As you know, caring for someone requires a lot of energy. You’re looking after someone else as well as yourself and therefore you’re taking on so many responsibilities and commitments at once but you can’t fuel yourself on an empty tank. Being able to switch between our autopilot and mindfulness allows us to relieve pressures, top up our systems and give time to ourselves.

Mindfulness comes in many forms: meditations, affirmations, and more. As a carer, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed with the business of your day-to-day lives. Studies show that affirmation practises can help combat your biggest problems. According to Positivepsychology.com. self-affirmations have been shown to decrease health-deteriorating stress and have been linked positively to academic achievement

Healthline.com defines affirmations as “ a self-help strategy used to promote self-confidence and belief in your own abilities”. These expressions are an excellent way to be mindful and empower you during your struggles so how do you incorporate them into your lives?

Raneesha says: “It’s very important to choose an affirmation that feels right to you. If it doesn't feel right, it's not going to settle into the system. These affirmations will build with time. For example, if you’re saying I must be kind to myself, but it doesn't feel right, that's just not going to work for you. If you say I will treat myself with kindness today, and that feels achievable, then go with that.

The world of mindfulness is one of possibility. It’s overwhelming but beginning to understand it and finding a place to start can help us navigate and manage ourselves during these very weird and trying times. Whilst it is a slow process to get into, it doesn’t need a lot of time a day to do and after some time you can begin to see an amazing improvement in yourself.

“Affirmations are a bit like you're on sea and you're on board, there are strong winds everywhere which are like our situations and they’re just thrown all about. An affirmation is a bit like lowering an anchor so you have that one steady place and keep coming back to when things blow you off. You come back to your affirmation and say, ‘I will treat myself with kindness' and you just sort of repeat it so that it feels true to you. These affirmations are something that happens from the inside out. ”